Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We talked him into tasing himself.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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