I bet he comes in French.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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