I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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