You can't special order awesome
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
