When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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