Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
