I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
