where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I supernannyed him into submission
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
