True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
