Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
