This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
3pm strippers are depressing
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
