me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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