Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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