no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
