Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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