I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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