For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
