this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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