You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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