so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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