Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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