you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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