He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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