i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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