I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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