i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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