Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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