i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
