At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dignity is for republicans.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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