hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
