Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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