I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
