i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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