Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
