It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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