For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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