She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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