i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize