If i come over, it means nothing
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
