I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
