Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
wow bdsm is so cute
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
