Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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