what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
