so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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