it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
