Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
