you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
