Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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