don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize