id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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