Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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