The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
now i know why i became what i already was.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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