I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
