he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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