I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
