I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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