Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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