1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
